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 Quote I heard Last Night...

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~Meg~
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PostSubject: Quote I heard Last Night...   Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:04 am

"Its easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission"

A guy friend told me this line last night. He explained it like this: Its easier to just make a move with a girl. If she doesn't like it then you can apologize and move on. However, if you say something like, "Hey can i have a kiss" or "Can I have sex with you" then you are most likely going to get rejected. Once you are rejected it can be awkward and then game over.

Sooo I thought I'd share Very Happy
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Ka
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PostSubject: Re: Quote I heard Last Night...   Mon Nov 17, 2008 9:44 am

So what do you think of it being a girl...is it easier for you to forgive or would you rather give permission?

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Rye Lee
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PostSubject: Re: Quote I heard Last Night...   Mon Nov 17, 2008 12:13 pm

This is something I was taught years ago and I don't even remember the first one to say it to me. I've noticed that it is entirely true from my experiences over the years. Basically if you ask permission they are more likely to say 'no' because in many cases they would say 'no' for various reasons ranging from social conditioning to wanting a man that has the balls to just take what he wants; this is typically subconscious, but occassionally it may even be conscious. If you just go ahead and try, then if she really honestly isn't interested, then she'll tell you so and you just appologize, no harm no foul. If one of those things like being afraid of what her friends will think would have gotten in the way before, because it "just happened then her brain will excuse it".

People tend to habitually say 'no' when the option is presented. If you don't acknowledge that option, then they are more than happy to go along with your frame of 'yes'. This applies to most situations; if a person doesn't even accept the possibility of failure, then people around them will go along with what they have to say, yet if they say that they might fail, people will focus primarily on that. If you present someone with yes or no question, then you put them in that situation and they take the easy road out and say 'no' cause 'yes' is the more difficult option, the option where they might end up hurt for any number of reasons.
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Maximus
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PostSubject: Re: Quote I heard Last Night...   Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:46 pm

Yeah. It's a whole lot easier just to smack her ass. Then she'll either
like it or slap you. At least there's no guesswork involved. :p
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~Meg~
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PostSubject: Re: Quote I heard Last Night...   Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:10 am

Rye Lee hit the nail on the head.

Ka, I would say forgiving would be easier. If he asks for permission then I know I am more inclined to rationalize it and say no...."He is going to think I am a slut" etc etc. If I say no there is going to be more tension in the air than if I just turned away/ pulled back. In theory asking permission seems like the nice, gentleman-like, respectful thing to do, but it doesnt work as well.
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Ka
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PostSubject: Re: Quote I heard Last Night...   Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:42 am

I figured, just wanted you to elaborate your opinion on the subject so guys had a girls "right from the mouth" type of thing.

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JSmooth
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PostSubject: Re: Quote I heard Last Night...   Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:39 pm

~Meg~ wrote:
Rye Lee hit the nail on the head.

Ka, I would say forgiving would be easier. If he asks for permission then I know I am more inclined to rationalize it and say no...."He is going to think I am a slut" etc etc. If I say no there is going to be more tension in the air than if I just turned away/ pulled back. In theory asking permission seems like the nice, gentleman-like, respectful thing to do, but it doesnt work as well.

My thought is that you shouldn't ever ask permission for doing what you are suppose to be doing. As a guy it is my responsibility to escalate things physically. If it is my job to pick up trash on your curb I don't come to your door and ask your permission if I do it, I just do it. Just like Meg said if when you ask permission you are more likely to get a No because you have asked her to think about it. If you just "assume" you are suppose to be doing it anyways thinks will typically work a lot better for you in most departments.

Yes, asking permission is the "nice" thing to do, but we were all pretty much "very nice guys" before all this and look where it got us.

GOOD POST
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Juice
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PostSubject: Re: Quote I heard Last Night...   Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:46 pm

I have asked a few times and it has got me good results..
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PostSubject: Re: Quote I heard Last Night...   Tue Nov 18, 2008 9:18 pm

Meg, Im going to twist this a bit. Depending on the question, I would want him to ask permission, you will gain control of the situation, therefore he is jumping through your hoops. Since I am a girl and I want a guy to jump through my hoops because I would gain control of the frame, then I would twist and bend it to my liking. However, this could be situational for the guy gain control if he has the mentality to do so. My friend used to do it to me all the time just to check his frame. It's all good, it can be done all in fun if you "calibrate" correctly.
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