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 Keeping things light

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PostSubject: Keeping things light   Mon Dec 01, 2008 4:52 pm

Hey guys,

If you recall, a few of weeks ago I posted about my concerns surrounding "the talk" which I felt would be ultimately coming with a girl I have been seeing. I got some great advice from everybody about how to handle this, especially Meg's short but concise response and Tripp's link to a Johnny Soporno article. Here is the topic:
http://www.tripps-pua-forum.com/the-pua-beat-f27/on-getting-closer-but-still-staying-at-arm-s-length-t2616.htm

Last night the talk came. Actually I initiated it. I talked about past relationships that I've had and about how I hated the fact I've hurt people so badly by getting caught cheating. I said that above all else what I learned is that exclusive relationships aren't for me at this point in life, but that I do enjoy getting to know people and that I think if I am honest about my intentions and limitations then I don't see a moral problem pursuing something that I will not allow to continue past a certain point. It didn't mean I was breaking things off with her but it did mean that I would be with other women and that I expected that she would be with other men. It meant that she would have to accept this, and that she shouldn't be jealous or apprehensive about any of the other women I see because none of them are going to shove her out of the picture. I told her that I like her and actually told her about my new philosophy on sex with people I don't care about (i.e., that I've decided that's not enjoyable if I know the person well enough and don't care about her).

She had a few questions about it and then agreed that it was a good course of action. I wanted to make sure she understood, so I reiterated that she needs to be dating other guys, or at the very least, not not dating other guys on account of me. She understood and agreed.

I think there are two major factors to her agreeing to such a thing. First, the sex is great. I make sure to spend plenty of time giving her what I'm sure she doesn't get elsewhere, even if she is getting penetrated by other guys. Second, I was absolutely sincere about both liking her and not being willing to be exclusive... ever. I told her that it wasn't fair for me to let her have any idea in her mind that exclusivity was a possible destination of this, and I let her decide if she was still interested in dating. She was.

It feels great being on the same page about this.


-Karma
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Juice
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PostSubject: Re: Keeping things light   Mon Dec 01, 2008 8:36 pm

AND THE TROOF SHALL SET YOU FREE!!!
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L.A. Tripp
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PostSubject: Re: Keeping things light   Mon Dec 01, 2008 11:35 pm

Well done Karma.

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Fortunehooks1
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PostSubject: Re: Keeping things light   Tue Dec 02, 2008 3:42 am

Karma creating his own good karma, pun intended. Well done my dude, she appreciated the honesty, and you felt wonderful delivering it, good news. peace,lvoe and succe SS
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PostSubject: Re: Keeping things light   Tue Dec 02, 2008 4:08 am

Thanks guys, it was great. She's a wonderful girl and I know that in the past I would have ended up screwing the whole situation up by allowing myself to get pulled into a situation neither of us would have been happy with. And then it would have been another year or two of my life before I got up the nerve to correct it and both of us would have been worse off for it.

The funny thing is, I thought she would react this way, but I talked to many female friends of mine and not a single one said she would find this situation acceptable. Even this girl said she wouldn't normally be okay with a situation like this but with me it was different. I really chalk it up to approaching the situation with honesty and confidence, and I know that six months ago I wouldn't have had the guts to come to such a conclusion with either. Thanks again.

Oh, and I promise I won't use the word 'situation' a single time for at least two posts! Razz
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~Meg~
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PostSubject: Re: Keeping things light   Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:15 am

She probably found the honesty refreshing.
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PostSubject: Re: Keeping things light   Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:16 am

Meg you being nice!
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