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~Meg~
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PostSubject: I need a guys perspective...   Wed Dec 10, 2008 6:04 am

I have this guy friend (who I have known for almost 3 yrs). Our friendship has evolved into only one thats physical. We no longer hang out as just friends or whatnot. However, I feel as though I am no longer attracted to him anymore. Thus, no reason to see him right? What do you think is the best way to handle this situation?

A) Cut off communication...no longer respond to text/calls

OR

B) Tell him the reason I no longer want to see him.


I am a very honest person so I feel like option B is best. If I were in those shoes I would want to know. However, my close friend says that I should just not talk to him anymore. Normally, I would do that but we have known eachother too long. I feel like he deserves an honest answer.
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bigjamiemac
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Wed Dec 10, 2008 6:35 am

Honestly as a guy who has been dumped. Tell him straight up why you are done. It sucks as a guy not noing why she left! Just my opinion Meg:D
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:15 pm

Talk to him and be straight forward with him see how he feels about the situation...
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Rye Lee
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:02 am

Let him know how you feel and just be honest while doing your best to limit how much you hurt his feelings. He deserves to know though and if you don't tell him he will always wonder, as well as becoming angry at you for your lack of handling the situation well.
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L.A. Tripp
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:21 am

Meg, I agree, option B is best. Girls don't normally tell guys why they want to split or give any reason of any sorts. It's normally handled the way your friend told you to do it . . . just flat cut him off. Out of respect for YOURSELF AND THIS GUY, be upfront with him. You have known him for 3 years after all. I don't know how long out of that time you've been having sex with him, but since you've known him that long, be honest with him.

I'm in the process of dealing with the same type of thing myself. It's "easier' in one way just to cut and run, but the "what if's" and "what the hell happened" thoughts will linger. Talking it out, being upfront is harder, but I still think it's better. Get closure, know what I mean?

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AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
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Fortunehooks1
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Thu Dec 11, 2008 6:16 am

Meg heres how you handle this situation. Grade A, Fortunehooks' break up rules: Inform the individual about some of your flaws are what continues to haunt some of your judgment. Be honest about the good times you had with them. Tell them how timing plays a part in many of our decisions. Make sure they understand, that just because you no longer have the necessary room for them in your life, you didn't want to continue down that path because you know how special they are and someone else will clearly see what you have missed. That you were only halting their track to social success with someone who would be golden for them in several viable ways. Always, Always tell them you wish them the most grandeur of what life has in store for them, and that you will always think highly of them and the moments you spent. Peace,lvoe and succe SS
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:50 pm

bigjamiemac wrote:
Honestly as a guy who has been dumped. Tell him straight up why you are done. It sucks as a guy not noing why she left! Just my opinion Meg:D

yea seriously, there is nothing worse than not knowing what you did wrong. that shit can plague you
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:11 pm

Guys, on the flip side, realize that NOT every girl will do as Meg is doing and get a male consensus, or even be WILLING to tell why she dumped you.

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Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
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Skittlepimp
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:48 am

L.A. Tripp wrote:
Guys, on the flip side, realize that NOT every girl will do as Meg is doing and get a male consensus, or even be WILLING to tell why she dumped you.


I agree


also as a male i would like say that even though i was being dumped i would appreciate knowing why

as a side note meg, men are very logical and upfront, i think its why generally we all get along with each other so well.

we are primal, looks alone can be enough for us to be attracted to a woman. so i guess what im trying to say in a nutshell is that option B is my choice too.
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:04 am

Meg, if you do choose option B (which, from your post, it sounds like you already have), make sure you are (1) sure that is what you want, and (2) firm.

We men have a habit of interpreting Girl into something that makes more sense to us, and often your intentions are lost in translation. Say what you need to say and end the conversation. By the time things get to this it's usually pretty obvious anyway, so he shouldn't really be surprised. But then you really have to stay away!

Just my take Smile
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:10 am

It is true, as Karma pointed out, that by the time things get to that point, things are NORMALLY pretty obvious to the guy anyway. Well, at least to a guy that has somewhat of a clue. I have a relationship that just stopped myself, and I did see it coming. I've seen it, in fact, for at least a couple of weeks. Possibly a couple of months if I do enough introspection about it. But I've known it in my head for at least a couple of weeks.

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Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
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Ka
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Fri Dec 12, 2008 7:24 am

For most guys being dumped is not as bad as not knowing why. Most guys are not made of glass and will take being told to their face why and what then if they just have the connection sevred and dunt know why.

Most girls pick option A to avoid confrontation or resistance (as Karma pointed out).

Id say your desicion should be based on 2 simple questions.

-Do i want to maintain any kind of relationship with this person (friend, fb, etc)?
-Whats the right thing to do?

If you dont care and never want to see him again for whatever reason, option A may be a better choice for you. Otherwise option b is not only better for your best interest, its also the right thing to do.

My perspective...i respect a women who can say things to my face. I lose alot of respect when a women cannot communicate with me, or choses to avoid it.

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L.A. Tripp
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:43 pm

Ka wrote:

My perspective...i respect a women who can say things to my face. I lose alot of respect when a women cannot communicate with me, or choses to avoid it.

I second that.

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http://latripp.blogspot.com/

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Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
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PostSubject: Re: I need a guys perspective...   Sat Dec 13, 2008 10:37 pm

so what did u end up doing?
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