HomeVault AccessGalleryFAQRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Used to not be quiet but now am?

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
PUA to be
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 315
Age : 28
Location : Burbank, CA
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2008-03-27

PostSubject: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Sun Apr 12, 2009 5:26 am

Ive been really curious lately. When i was younger (freshmen in highschool) i was the talk of the school everybody looked up to me. I had confidence like no other i had girls on my lap and around me every second of school (in and out of class). One girl would leave then another would show minutes after. I had no fear of rejection nothing bothered me. After that i got a girlfriend who i was with for 2 years after we broke up i became this COMPLETELY different person. I ive been shy, quiet, and i am scard shitless of rejection. I have a very hard time talking to girls. Why is this? how can somebody just change? how can i be my old self again? i really loved my old personality. Did my confidence drop due to my past girl leaving me? did i just loose my touch in those 2 years?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
-vH
rAFC
rAFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 48
Age : 28
Location : Vancouver
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-03-03

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Sun Apr 12, 2009 12:51 pm

I knew a guy in high school (quite well) who is in a similar position now.

He used to be the hotshot; he had the ladies, he came from money, and he had all the freedom he wanted from his parents.
He would break it off with one girl, and a week later he'd find a new love interest. And this was just a repetitive cycle that he was used to.
People around him praised him, including myself. I'd tell him that I was envious that he didn't have to focus so much on his studies and get a part time job because his parents were wealthy, and that his social status gave him natural confidence and won him ladies and popularity etc.


Once we got out of high school though,
he realized that even though he had his own car, his own pad, and all the money to spend, there were thousands of others just like him.
The people who praised him started to realize, once you get out of the tiny place we knew as high school, possibilities were limitless, and if we knew a guy who drove a Mercedes in high school, we could easily meet a guy driving a Ferrari out of high school.

High school is a tiny place compared to say, college, and definitely compared to the real world.
Many people I knew with confidence and on top of the stairs quickly found themselves at the bottom of another, more steeper flight of stairs.

-vH
Back to top Go down
View user profile
-vH
rAFC
rAFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 48
Age : 28
Location : Vancouver
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-03-03

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Sun Apr 12, 2009 12:52 pm

I would even add that,

while he used to get all the ladies and have everybody eating out of his hands,
his relationships now are all on the fence--a slight breeze and everything would fall apart.

I also began to realize that he started seeking attention more, instead of waiting for it to come to him the way it was back in high school; ultimately making him more insecure--or quiet, if you will.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
PUA to be
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 315
Age : 28
Location : Burbank, CA
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2008-03-27

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:41 am

hmmm :-\ u think it could be my confidence loss from when my girl dumped me?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 44
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Tue Apr 14, 2009 11:43 am

It's probably a combination of both. Loss of confidence from a girl that you've been with for 2 years leaving you, and because the world after high school really is different. What gets you by in high school won't get you by in the big world after high school.

In any case, it still comes down to the same thing. You've acknowledged your fear, now you have to move past it. Rather, blow through it. Smash it to pieces. Of course, understand that this fear will never FULLY go away, but you CAN learn how to deal with it and get around it or through it.

For instance, when you see a girl you want to open, realize within your own head that if you don't have a successful pick up, you will likely never see or talk to this girl again anyway, so no matter what happens in that moment, it means nothing . . . unless you succeed.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
Ka
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 788
Age : 33
Location : Philly
Reputation : 2
Registration date : 2008-03-17

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:28 pm

PUA to be wrote:
hmmm :-\ u think it could be my confidence loss from when my girl dumped me?

Your asking questions you already know the answers to, which is fine...its good for us to openly discuss those types of feelings so that we can face them.

I read your first post and thought to myself "Did this guy just write down what happened to me?".

I however had a 4-5 year relationship spanning from the middle of high school into college. I would say i thought i would marry the girl, thats how close we were. However like all things good, this came to an end (in dramatic fashion) and i have not been the same since.

Throughout my life i have been forced to let go of the things closest to me, and i pride myself in my ability to let something go, not be needy...basically my sense of independance. However even in being able to do so in ways others dont, i have come to realize that even i lose something when i let go. When we give something up, we lose what we wanted to, and something we didnt want to (possibly without even knowing we gave up anything).

When i broke up with my longtime gf i removed a big chunk of negativity and source of many issues in my life...but in letting that go i also had a good deal of confidence, self esteem, and youth go.

I like you and others mentioned used to be fearlessly outgoing. While i would not label myself as "popular" in highschool, everyone did know me, i was friends with many different people, and girls where not hard to come by (even if i didnt know what i was doing). However i think a combination of growing up and loseing a fair bit of confidence in my break up has left me the way i am now.

Dependant on the type of person you are, there are really only 2 courses of action...either change and become the person you want to be, or accept who you have become and make it work for you. Both options are completely valid. For myself im becomming more set in my ways, and i just realize im not that high energy completely outward guy...at least not at first...so i dont try to be.

It has been at least 5 years for me, and ive had small flings and the such between the breakup and now...but i still have yet to let myself get into a real relationship. I didnt date as much as i probably should have as a kid, and right now im setting my life in order to allow myself to start actively dating again.

Lastly i will leave you with a small bit of wisdom a friend had said to me...."Fuck the past! It's done, just move on."

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
PUA to be
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 315
Age : 28
Location : Burbank, CA
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2008-03-27

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:27 am

Thanks guys. Yeh im not looking in the past and regretting anything that happen i just wish i can go back to my old self because apparently that worked better for me.. I just cant get my self to be like that..
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 44
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Thu Apr 16, 2009 1:24 am

PUA to be wrote:
I just cant get my self to be like that..

Yes you can. Dig deep. You can.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
PUA to be
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 315
Age : 28
Location : Burbank, CA
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2008-03-27

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Mon Apr 20, 2009 11:20 am

Well guys i just got back from a wonderful trip and i felt like my old self once again. We were surrounded by girls and more girls in our hotel room. 3 guys with iono about 15-20 girls in our room for 2 days straight. I found my self being very hands on like i used to be. I felt very comfortable and very very confident. The only problem is i wasn't exactly sober when i was feeling this way... Atleast it shows me i stil have it in me...
Back to top Go down
View user profile
-vH
rAFC
rAFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 48
Age : 28
Location : Vancouver
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-03-03

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Mon Apr 20, 2009 9:57 pm

Congrats PUA to be,

I personally like to get a little drink on before starting the night though, (of course, not to the point where I start feeling impaired) it gets me more pumped up.

-vH
Back to top Go down
View user profile
PUA to be
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 315
Age : 28
Location : Burbank, CA
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2008-03-27

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:07 am

agreed.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 44
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:35 am

Solid inner game = no liquid courage to unleash the charisma . . . Wink

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
MattJacks
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member


Male Number of posts : 806
Age : 27
Location : Sydney, Australia
Reputation : 3
Registration date : 2008-04-07

PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   Tue Apr 21, 2009 6:31 pm

but liquid courage = fun
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Used to not be quiet but now am?   

Back to top Go down
 
Used to not be quiet but now am?
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Day 4 - Werewolf 8 - Another Quiet Night
» Jim Clark - The Quiet Champion
» A Quiet Weekend in Capri an Adventure???
» Voice volume too quiet, background volume too loud...
» The quiet before the Dawn

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: The PUA Beat-
Jump to: