HomeVault AccessGalleryFAQRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Friend into lover

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
feralchild
AFC
AFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 17
Age : 47
Location : uk
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-08-01

PostSubject: Friend into lover   Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:46 pm

Way down in the deepest corners of this site I came across a post about turning a friend into a lover, a concept that interests me greatly. The advice given by Mr Tripp was "kino escalation is a MUST, and sexual framing (dropping sexual comments and innuendo).

That sound good, however, could someone explain with examples from real life or hypotheticals what "Kino Esculation" means, and give me some examples of sexual comments and innuendo.

I think deep inside I know how to get that cauldron of passion that simmers away inside every woman to boil over and explode into a surge of lust and desire, but I am a little out of practice, so any advice would be welcomed.

Thanks in advance.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
~Meg~
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Female Number of posts : 356
Age : 32
Location : USA
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2008-04-28

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Wed Aug 05, 2009 12:44 am

Kino escalation is touching the girl. Its important to be comfortable hugging her, playful touching and when the time is right to escalate it to something more sexual. Some guys make it so awkward.

Also, for girls we have to imagine having sex with a guy before actually doing it. Therefore, making sexual comments shows that you are comfortable, confident, and it puts the thought in our heads. A guy who tends to end up in the "friend zone" is someone who does not create sexual tension. We see him as a friend because we cant imagine having sex with him. Its not that he is too nice or unattractive. Its because he is unable to put out a sexual vibe.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Ka
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 788
Age : 34
Location : Philly
Reputation : 2
Registration date : 2008-03-17

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Wed Aug 05, 2009 12:57 am

Examples are hard to give, because they are situational.

Kino escalation is more of a concept then a practise. In other words its the idea of starting out at a very nuetral plane of touching, like hand on the should, touching someones elbow when you make a point, etc (normal forms of brief nuetral physical contact)...and working towards (escalating) owards more intimate touching, like holding a hand, having your arm around someone, pinching a butt, etc.

People who are comfortable with each other touch each other, not in a sexual way per say. By not having even limited physical contact with someone you are indirectly showing them your not comfortable.

As for comments and inuendo, inuendo suggests or implies, but does not directly state. A comment on the other hand could be very direct.

I suggest you check out some of the online convos posted for examples of inuendo and comments, these are good examples because they are written records and show them in a situational form.

http://www.tripps-pua-forum.com/online-game-f10/little-im-game-t1378.htm

This is a link to a good convo i had with alot of banter, inuedno and sexual framing.

Quote :
ME (4:51:29 PM): chillin, but i keep myself occupied 

HER (4:51:43 PM): oo yea niice
HER (4:51:48 PM): and how do u do that?

ME (4:57:48 PM): well its very complicated and elaborate but it involves using my hands

See the above implies masturbation...but doesnt say it...i could be (and was) talking about something else, anything else...but i wanted her to be thinking about me in a sexual way.

read the rest of that post for more examples.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 45
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Wed Aug 05, 2009 11:15 am

You have just been given straight forward answers by two of the best members/posters on this site. It's hard to really say anything else to help answer your question, but I would like to ask . . . are you thinking about turning a friend that you have now into a lover? If so, and if you are "rusty" or out of practice as you say, then you may not want to start immediately with the ultimate target in your mind. Your insecurity about yourself or your ability will come across. Instead, practice on others first, then go to the one that you really want.

You have to build up your self-esteem/inner confidence to be MOST effective.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
feralchild
AFC
AFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 17
Age : 47
Location : uk
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-08-01

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Wed Aug 05, 2009 12:07 pm

Thanks folks, that was very useful, kind of what I thought it all meant but sometimes it's nice to have things spelled out for you.

Mr Tripp, yes it is an existing friend that I am planning on turning into a lover, and that may well be sound advice (and fun) to do a little practice elsewhere first. On the whole I am very comfortable in my skin, and a confident person. No issues with self esteem, just forgotten the finer details of how to play the dating game. I am kind of at the end of a long long term relationship. If fact, reading what has been written above, just makes me think, treat her the same way I used to treat my partner (when we were getting on), cos thats basically the way you treat a girlfriend.

Thanks again, any other advice gratefully received.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Fortunehooks1
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 849
Age : 35
Location : USA Fort Worth, Texas
Reputation : 1
Registration date : 2008-03-24

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:28 am

Kino escalation can be done almost upon entry into an interaction. Case in point, if a woman has on an interesting blouse and you spot an intriguing broach. Strike up a topic that swirls around the interest of the broach and yes, fill the item a little. That is subtle kino escalation that I have performed countless times, all with no rejection ever administered. The ladders of kino escalation is what I think you are most interested in. That is what leads to turning a friend into a lover.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.myspace.com/fortunehooks
feralchild
AFC
AFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 17
Age : 47
Location : uk
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-08-01

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:17 pm

Fortunehooks1 wrote:
Kino escalation can be done almost upon entry into an interaction. Case in point, if a woman has on an interesting blouse and you spot an intriguing broach. Strike up a topic that swirls around the interest of the broach and yes, fill the item a little. That is subtle kino escalation that I have performed countless times, all with no rejection ever administered. The ladders of kino escalation is what I think you are most interested in. That is what leads to turning a friend into a lover.

Ahh yes, I like the decriptive "ladders of kino escalation" tell me more about this, maybe describe how that may develop.

On a separate note regarding inuendo. I saw my friend last night and thought I would try an inuendo. Basically we're both in the same activity, and having a little friendly chat in the car park before our training session. I happen to need a document witnessed. So I touched her on the arm, said, "ahhh, theres something I really need you to do for me", she replied "oh yes, what's that?" I said "Come", paused for a second or two, smiled turned, gave her the come hither motion with my fingers and walked to my car, at which time I just continued the sign document request.

Pretty basic, but what do you think? Did it have all the elements?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 45
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:42 pm

feralchild wrote:
Fortunehooks1 wrote:
Kino escalation can be done almost upon entry into an interaction. Case in point, if a woman has on an interesting blouse and you spot an intriguing broach. Strike up a topic that swirls around the interest of the broach and yes, fill the item a little. That is subtle kino escalation that I have performed countless times, all with no rejection ever administered. The ladders of kino escalation is what I think you are most interested in. That is what leads to turning a friend into a lover.

Ahh yes, I like the decriptive "ladders of kino escalation" tell me more about this, maybe describe how that may develop.

On a separate note regarding inuendo. I saw my friend last night and thought I would try an inuendo. Basically we're both in the same activity, and having a little friendly chat in the car park before our training session. I happen to need a document witnessed. So I touched her on the arm, said, "ahhh, theres something I really need you to do for me", she replied "oh yes, what's that?" I said "Come", paused for a second or two, smiled turned, gave her the come hither motion with my fingers and walked to my car, at which time I just continued the sign document request.

Pretty basic, but what do you think? Did it have all the elements?

I agree, kino can definitely be done immediately. And many times SHOULD be done immediately.

Regarding the innuendo, what you did was perfect. The question is, can you do more things like that. Obviously not the exact same thing all the time. That WILL cause her to think more sexually about you. Of course, you'll have to start escalating it beyond innuendo as well, otherwise the innuendo will become ineffective.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
feralchild
AFC
AFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 17
Age : 47
Location : uk
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-08-01

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Fri Aug 07, 2009 9:32 pm

Thanks, a little more advice needed. As I mentioned, I am in a relationship that is approaching the end. I think I may have ballsed up a bit my progress with my friend. I was having a chat with her about an arguement I had had with my current gf, and mentioned she had basically acused me of having an affair. At which point I said to my friend "I wouldn't mind, but I haven't had an affair, and I am not the sort of person who does". Is this a bit of a mistake, its not very bad boy is it?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 45
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:20 pm

Being "bad boy" is not something to strive to be if you're not naturally one. From what I'm seeing, you're not naturally one. You don't have to be a "bad boy" to attract girls.

Don't worry about what you said. Instead tell us what her reaction or response was to what you said.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
feralchild
AFC
AFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 17
Age : 47
Location : uk
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-08-01

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:03 pm

Well, she just have a slight downward look, I kinda detected disapointment, but maybe I'm just imagining it, then we continued the conversation as normal.

When i said bad boy, i didn't mean bad boy like that, what I really meant is, have I just said i don't do affairs? if you know what I mean, have I taken myself out of the equation, disqualified myself?? does that make sense, it feels like i said something really stupid.

Man I really am out of practice arn't I? how insecure do I sound?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
randy1random
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 414
Age : 32
Location : Bath, England
Reputation : 3
Registration date : 2008-08-04

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Sat Aug 08, 2009 2:29 am

Sounds like you've done ok. Maybe you are out of practice so you know what to do! As tripp said you don't need to be a bad-boy but you DO need to be a challenge! Tease her when she says something dumb.

Girls don't want a guy to cheat on them that's just common sense so if she took what you said wrong it's good that you straightened it up (as long as you don't apear wussy or dishonest) .But they do want a guy who understands women and knows what they are doing. They are also very competitive and it's a good fealing for them to know that other girls like their guy.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 45
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Sat Aug 08, 2009 5:16 am

Exactly, so you no, you haven't messed up with this girl. Not at this point anyway, lol.

You can still lay her. You haven't taken yourself out of the "running" so to speak. Think about it, guys usually need to disqualify themselves in some way before they actually get the lay.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
feralchild
AFC
AFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 17
Age : 47
Location : uk
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-08-01

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Sun Aug 09, 2009 10:01 pm

Fair points, never thought of it as a positive type of disqualify, i suppose it could be turned into one. So, what would you chaps suggest from here?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 45
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Sun Aug 09, 2009 10:28 pm

The usual. Tease her, kino her, and if she's open to that, escalate those areas.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
feralchild
AFC
AFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 17
Age : 47
Location : uk
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-08-01

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Mon Aug 10, 2009 12:24 pm

I'll let you know how I get. Thanks for the advice.

Just a thought, maybe a daft question, but what definition of tease are you using? give me some examples of a teasing. I mean do you mean, make fun of? or do you mean imply something good then take away? I suppose both would be good!

Perhaps you could give me a few examples you have used LA? (What do I call you by the way, LA Tripp, Tripp, LA, Mr T ?????)
Back to top Go down
View user profile
feralchild
AFC
AFC
avatar

Male Number of posts : 17
Age : 47
Location : uk
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-08-01

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Tue Aug 25, 2009 3:43 pm

What are your thoughts on this, I was having a natter to my friend the other day, and she was telling me about something that had happened to her, something not too pleasent. She was having a little rant, which during she said "fuck me" three times, obviously in context to what she was saying as opposed to a command or request. (Eg, "fuck me, what did they expect me to do") That got me thinking, could that have been a subconsious command or request? You know the way you suggest building in inuendo, or in some cases using nlp so it appears to be natural.

I'm not suggesting she was saying it deliberately, just wondering whether it was her subconsious letting out a hidden desire?

Maybe I'm just reading too much into this, maybe I should just shut up and try to shag her and see what happens!

I guess what i am trying to ask is, do you think we let out our desires in unguarded or passionate moments of conversation?

I hope you find this an interesting question, anyones thoughts will be gratefully received.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 45
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:31 pm

Yes both would be good. Making fun of something but not in a mean way, just a joking way. Also, teasing her with something that maybe she wants and not giving it to her right away. Those are just two examples though. There are many things you can do with "teasing". Get creative with it.

Merriam Webster's definition of tease:
to tantalize especially by arousing desire or curiosity often without intending to satisfy it

However, you shouldn't always have the goal of not intending to satisfy whatever you're teasing her with. That ends up being mean in the long run.

Call me Tripp, call me L.A., I'm ok with either. Most call me Tripp these days.

On your second post, no her saying "fuck me" in that context was not a subliminal message to you. However, you COULD have turned it into sexual banter. You could have said something like "now slow down" when she said "fuck me". She would have been startled by you saying that, so you'd have to maintain the frame, and smile, and make sure she knew you were playing with her. Remember, body language has a lot to do with this stuff too.

Yes, in general, I do think our desires are let out in unguarded moments, but that's not what was happening with this girl in this moment. People use "generic" or "fall back" words just to throw out there when they are ranting and raving. I've heard many people use "fuck me" in this way.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
randy1random
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 414
Age : 32
Location : Bath, England
Reputation : 3
Registration date : 2008-08-04

PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   Tue Aug 25, 2009 7:06 pm

It depends... I would definitely made an inuendo, unless she was being really serious and trying to share her fealings. Then you should have let her talk and related to it to her and build a connection.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Friend into lover   

Back to top Go down
 
Friend into lover
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» "Refer a Friend" program on Taiwan Servers?
» Emzan Writes A Creepy Poem With The Help Of Her Dopey Friend Shyanne!
» To Request a Gift on your Friend's Wall: 
» Accidently deleted friend
» Trimming friend list question

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: The PUA Beat-
Jump to: