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LaRockStar
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PostSubject: The Secret...   Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:01 pm

Has anybody read this book?

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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:58 am

Heard of it, supposedly like the female version of The Game. I should probably read it. Have you gotten to take a peak?

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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:37 am

My psychologist recommended me to read it...

It's a all about mentality.

"Think positive...positive things will happen."

I don't buy it at all....but...maybe that's just me.

Read it - give it a shoot.
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Wed Sep 23, 2009 4:17 am

Well reading it cant hurt right...worst case you see another perspective on how to approach life.

Now im not saying that a positive mentality is gonna fix all your problems... its not like its magic and all your problems go away when you have a positive outlook...

But i do agree that it helps. Think of it this way...

"Your mood is the looking glass through which you see life".

So if you have a foul mood, everything you look at in life will seem down, nasty, and bad...even the good things will be tainted with that outlook.

However if you have a positive outlook, even the bad stuff will seem less harsh...most importantly, when you can see the positive side of even the bad stuff, it will help you to act to correct it or get something out of it thats helpful instead of hurtful.

If you dont agree...think about this. Why do you think that many inmates in prison become spiritual or religous while they are in jail? Why do you think soo many CEO's and corporate people dont have a problem with doing bad things?

Its because they are forced into situations where their outlook directly effects the outcome and "success" of their immediate futures. When a person has no freedom and has to look "evil" in the face, they need hope and something positive to look for. When a person needs to put other people down to rise above, they need to justify their actions.

Your outlook has a drastic impact on how you live, how you deal with problems, and how you treat others and are treated by others. I suggest you consider it.

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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:11 pm

LaRockStar wrote:
My psychologist recommended me to read it...

It's a all about mentality.

"Think positive...positive things will happen."

I don't buy it at all....but...maybe that's just me.

Read it - give it a shoot.

Haven't read it. Saw the movie version the other night though. Or at least I believe the movie is supposed to follow the book.

Anyway, you don't buy it? You don't buy what? That being positive is better than being negative? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm with you and Ka in that you can't "just" think positive and suddenly out of nowhere good things will happen. That's taking the whole thing to an unhealthy extreme. But . . . what's wrong with seeing the positive instead of or ALONG WITH the negative?

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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:05 am

whatever you believe comes in to existence in your life.
What if I believe this is all a load of crap?
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Fri Sep 25, 2009 4:22 am

AltruisticAssassin wrote:
whatever you believe comes in to existence in your life.
What if I believe this is all a load of crap?

Then I guess you're a self-fulfilling prophecy, huh?

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Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
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Sydrian
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:56 am

Perspective is a funny thing. Sure, the Law of Attraction, which this book is supposed to endorse as a way of life that brings magical success into your life is a stretch. That is beside the point though. The vast majority of us here that have had, or still have problems with women can blame it on perspective. I've had the perspective that I "can't" approach women. Yet I'm an intelligent, interesting, and reasonably attractive guy. Why am I still single? Why do I have a lack of women in my life? Because of the perspective I have on women. Mind you that I'm working on that, and my mind set isn't "can't" anymore, but it still isn't set to "go for it". While I do strongly disagree that the Law of Attraction magically making good things happen in your life is a joke a best, what these people are peddling isn't exactly a crock either. The magic is for those who need to believe in something, or just don't care enough to follow the Law of Attraction to it's logical conclusion. Let's just think about it for a second. If you look at things in a positive light ALWAYS, your much more likely to make an action, because you believe in the potential positive result. On the other hand, if your a pessimist about everything, why bother? It's not going to make a difference anyhow. See how crippling a pessimistic attitude can be? I'll be the first to admit, it has been at least half my problem with women over the years, and a belief I'm working hard to change. See, it isn't about being positive brings magic into your life. It's about empowering yourself to take advantage of the opportunities life presents you. Success in any endeavor requires two things. Repetitive failure until you get it right, and a belief that you can make it work. Failure teaches you what doesn't work. But without the positive belief that you can do something, in the face of repeated failures there is nothing to keep you moving forward. Ask any successful person how much determination, and a positive attitude carried them. It's no so much that what you believe comes into existence, but more so that what you believe you will strive to make part of your existence.
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Fri Sep 25, 2009 7:04 pm

Not read the book, however have read many a "positive thinking" type book in my time and they probably all say the same sort of thing but in varying ways. basically, know what you want, know why you want it, work hard and you'll get it. Obviously there's alot more to it than that, but that is the gist.

Me, I have always been the sort of person who writes stuff down, I can go back to the late 80's with pads where I have written down my dreams and ambitions, and the thing I have discovered over the years is that the vast majority of the things that I wrote down that I wanted to have or do, I either now have, have had, or have done somewhere along the way. not always exactly how I thought at the time it would happen or turn out, but to put it in a nutshell, I got exactly what I asked for! What I have since learned is, be very careful with the detail of what it is you ask for from life.

A quick example. A few years ago I asked life to provide me with a detached home on the edge of the moor with a big garden in a specific village. A few years later I moved into a property fiting that description, it wasn't until the winter that I discovered, it was cold, damp, mildew grew wild on the walls, and rats moved in. I quicky rethought my dream home with alot more detail, and fortunately for me within a year, I found it and was living/am living in it.

Put simply, I got what I asked for, its just I specified badly what I asked for.

In short, experience has shown me, you get what it is you ask for from life, but make sure you detail it exactly. Then work hard, stay positive, keep your eyes open and have faith in the universe.
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LaRockStar
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Sun Sep 27, 2009 5:09 am

On the topic of books...I'll be purchasing this on Monday. Perhaps a different spin on it will give me a better, more confident outlook.
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Tue Sep 29, 2009 5:21 pm

I'll have to check it out the next time I go to the bookstore.

"Think positive...positive things will happen" Yes, thats very true because you first have to believe before you can put anything into action. Also, heres the deal LaRockstar if you think more positively you reflect it.

Pertaining this to pickup...naturals dont believe in negative outcomes when it comes to girls. They go in knowing that they are gonna get the girl and most likely they end up with the girl.
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Wed Sep 30, 2009 4:41 am

Just to add to this a little bit more. I've only been around for about two months. Around that time, I made a conscious decision that I was tired of the lack of women in my life. I've taken time to be more observant of myself, and those around me. Even though I haven't become pro-active, there is a distinct difference already. I'm getting significantly more attention from women, without any real action on my part. My best friend's wife, who's been trying to find someone to set me up with forever, suddenly has an attractive friend looking for a f-buddy that seems interested. Only two differences between now, and two months ago. Point of view. Sure, it could be PURE coincidence. But the fact I've decided I want, deserve, and can obtain women in my life surely has some influence on this.
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:39 am

I have a strory i think that will contribute to the notion that perspective matters...

I used to be a sales person at Circuit City, selling computers and camera's. Now i have never been the pushy type...sure im opinionated, but i never force my beleifs on others, i try to remain as open minded as anyone can be.

So to say that my sales style was laid back is an understatement. I never told anyone what they should get, instead i made them beleive they should get it...in other words i let them think it was their idea in the first place.

Obviously this is counter-intuitive to the typical sales person persona...and for over a year i was the top selling sales person in my department. I however did not start being that good...

See we were "measured" by 3 sets of numbers...sales volume, accessories, and warranties. We were expected to do 12% accessories and 7% warranties. There was 1 terrible problem for me...i could not sell warranties.

I figured out what the problem was after a couple months...i dont beleive in warranties...i think they are a load of crap and that its stupid to even consider them.

How are you suppossed to sell something you dont beleive in?

Well, this was the tricky part...because i honestly still dont beleive in warranties.

What i did was trick myself into beleiving the warranty was worth it, and i did this by disecting the warranty into its fundamental peices and then i could see the value in each peice.

For example, in store replacement...now that seems worth it right? How bout in home service? Annual free maintaince?

By breaking it into its peices i could see for myself the value in the warranty as a whole even if i personally am biased against warranties.

Once i was able to trick myself my sales of warranties went from an average of ~2% over the course of a few months to a consistant average of over 10% throughout the course of a year.

I went from barely able to convince people who asked about it, to literally selling it to people whos first words to me where "dont offer me the warranty" or "im not interested in the warranty".

I was able to do this because of my perspective.

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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:26 pm

Thank you all for the positive feedback.

At the same time - does positive thinking go along with self confidence?
Perhaps I seem to be lacking both.

On a much bigger side note - I guess I've had a negative outlook on females for the better part of a decade. How do I go about changing that?
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:02 pm

Positive thinking and self confidence help one another. One isn't so much required for the other, so much as one supports the other. If you are thinking positive, it's easier to act with confidence. If your confident, it is easier to think positive about a situation. As for helping your self confidence, find what you are confident about. I've always been good with technology, and even when my social confidence was an all time low, I have never doubted my skills in this area. It is something I will always have confidence with. For me, having something I'm good at, and finding the value in it has helped tremendously. Well, that, and the increased social acceptance of geeks over the years hasn't hurt either.
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:55 pm

LaRockStar wrote:
Thank you all for the positive feedback.

At the same time - does positive thinking go along with self confidence?
Perhaps I seem to be lacking both.

On a much bigger side note - I guess I've had a negative outlook on females for the better part of a decade. How do I go about changing that?

Sydrian gave a good post. Here's mine.

When you're confident, you KNOW you can do things. So obviously you're positive.

When you're positive, you may not actually have full self-confidence. For instance, a mutual friend of ours down there in the sunshine state trys to stay positive, but his confidence isn't close to where it needs to be.

Negative outlook on females. Hopfully you're not to the point of mysogyny. Look bro, I personally should have a negative outlook on females considering what I've dealt with from them. But I don't. I love females in general. I know most of them are good.

How you change it is by realizing that point. Most of them are good people. They are beautiful people, inside and out. They are also our mates here on this planet. We can and should help each other out, men and women.

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Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:05 am

"On a much bigger side note - I guess I've had a
negative outlook on females for the better part of a decade. How do I
go about changing that?"

Yeah women have some huge personality defects but so do men. Try thinking about about the positives of women.

What specifically are your negative beliefs about women and what has caused you to think that way? Be honest.
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PostSubject: Re: The Secret...   Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:44 am

I think what he meant was he has a negatve personal dialouge when it comes to women, in other words he assumes a negative interaction with them.

Start where i told you to start in the other post...at the beginning and breaking yourself down and rebuilding. You go from there

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