HomeVault AccessGalleryFAQRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 What should I do?

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
dodgeman3440
New Forum Member
New Forum Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 9
Age : 26
Location : New York
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-10-11

PostSubject: What should I do?   Sun Oct 11, 2009 5:51 pm

Ok so i am new to this forum (this is my first post) and was recommended to use it from a friend. I have been having some girl problems and i am completely lost as to what i should do. I have been asking my buddies and some girls that i know as to what they think i should to and i have gotten 3 distinct answers which i will explain after i explain my situation.

So i am a "green-horn" when it comes to dating. I am never been in a real relationship and that is what i have my eyes set on. I would not say i am desparate, actually far from it, l am just actively pursuing girls who i would like to spend time with.

Over this past summer my best friend Mark and his girlfriend Jordan of 3 years introduced me to one of her best friends Shannon. Now let me just say Jordan absolutely adores me as a friend and i really trust her. I would never date her or anything we are just really close and for the last 6 months she has been trying to set me up with some of her single girlfriends. Well Shannon was one of these girls; she is a high school senior with Jordan, had only been in 1 relationship where she had been treated like shit and it only last like a month. Personality wise she is very smart (5 AP classes her senior year, honor roll), plays soccer and softball for her school and plays ice hockey outside of school. She is shy and very independent and very active/busy. Did i forget to mention gorgeous/cute/funny. Jordan was right in saying we would make the perfect couple. We match at a lot of levels and enjoy many of the same things.

So we first met in July and I started hanging out with her in mid August. Now i already had an "in" with her girl friends and they all adore me. So we hung out went camping as a group, went to the beach, her and i went for the day to my college and just walked around, had lunch, etc. A lot of little stuff but nothing serious yet. We texted each other alot with a couple of phone calls. I even went to 2 or 3 of her soccer games. Around 3 weeks ago she hit a rough patch in school and with everything she was doing she became REALLY STRESSED OUT. Since then she has often ignored me despite my efforts to be there. She often talks in just 1 word answers and doesnt want to hang out at all.

So thats where my confusion comes in. I was trying hard and i did make it obvious that i liked her. I know from what Jordan has told me that Shannon had up until 2.5 - 3 weeks ago the BIGGEST crush/interest in me, but Jordan told me that Shannon told her i was appearing "NEEDY". I dont know why since i dont think i was i was just interested in her and only wanted to show her i was there. But anyways as for what I have been told by my friends: Jordan said Shannon just needs some space. Mark and my buddy John and my buddy Zac say that is the drama/immaturity of high school girls and space is required too. My friend Rachel said that from a girls view Shannon is being weird and she cant understand why Shan wouldnt want to be with me.

Now i have been giving Shan some space but i dont want to give her tooo much rroom and let her slip away. I really do like her alot and ya know if she only liked me as a freind i would have definitely gotten the "JUST FRIENDS" speech by now so.

HELP PLEASE!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Ka
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 788
Age : 33
Location : Philly
Reputation : 2
Registration date : 2008-03-17

PostSubject: Re: What should I do?   Mon Oct 12, 2009 12:40 am

Well, first welcome to the forums. Second, how much do you know about PU, what have you read, seen, etc?

My guess is youve probably only vaguely heard about it and have not studied much yourself. I highly recommend you read at the very least; The Game, Mystery Method, Magic Bullets. Probably in that order though it doesnt matter.

This will help introduce alot of the concepts we use when dealing with women, life, work, etc. You really need to have a basic understanding of PU basics for us to help in a big way, otherwise you will take what we tell you and apply what we call an AFC like translation to it.

From what youve said so far id agree...you are being needy, maybe not defcon 5 needy, but needy non the less. While this may have been over looked by her under normal circumstance...shes busy now and stressed, so shes noticing and not liking that.

IMO, Needy only comes in second place as a turn off to creepy.

We dont call it giving space...we freeze a girl out, essentially this means we dont pay any attention to her when shes doing something we dont like. We let her call, text, etc a bit, and when we are getting the attention we like then we re-open communication with her. Ive done this to girls for hours, days, weeks, even months on end....how long depends on the girl, how much she wants your attention, and how long it takes to get the desired reaction from her.

Also, its just speculation and a judgement i made from one sentance, but Rachel may like you as well in a more then a friend kind of way.

Just some advice as well, its generally not a good idea to use peoples real names here. Probably wont ever matter...but it could get back around to you. We have a private section, paid entry, but well worth it...you get a private area to post stuff that only vault members can read and theres a ton of really high quality info there that you gain access to.

Hope this helps.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 44
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: What should I do?   Mon Oct 12, 2009 1:55 am

Ok. Welcome to the forum. Glad you found your way here. Who was the buddy that suggested here?

I agree with Ka that, FOR THE MOMENT, you do need to freeze her out a bit. You HAVE indeed showed her how much interest you have in her. She KNOWS this now, without a doubt. A freeze out TAKES AWAY the validation she gets from you showing interest. She will FEEL this loss. She NEEDS to feel that right now. Sounds cruel, but it's true.

Next, this Rachel . . . is she also a friend of the girl you like? I'll explain why I ask. I also agree with Ka that there may be more interest from her than just a friend. If she's cute, I would escalate things with her, a LITTLE, right now. For one thing, it will HELP to distract you from Shannon for the moment. For another, you never know what will happen with either girl and where things will go with either girl. Now, if she's NOT friends or associated with Shannon, your escalation with Rachel may not get back to Shannon, so whatever happens between you two wouldn't matter right now. If she IS friends or associated with Shannon, whatever happens MIGHT get back to Rachel, which means you would need to be CAREFUL not to go too far with the escalation. Not even kissing her, unless it's "accidental".

One thing about girls getting stressed. Some girls will turn to the one CLOSEST TO THEM for comfort in the midst of stress. Others will SHUT THOSE VERY PEOPLE OUT in the midst of stress. I don't know why, some girls are just like that.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
dodgeman3440
New Forum Member
New Forum Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 9
Age : 26
Location : New York
Reputation : 0
Registration date : 2009-10-11

PostSubject: Re: What should I do?   Mon Oct 12, 2009 6:45 pm

Thank you both for your advice it helps alot. Tripp i think that Shan is one of those girls who SHUTS PEOPLE OUT when stressed as she is very independent. So then i will proly start reading those books at least "The Game" as a buddy told me to read it as well. So i will FREEZE her out then. I really am not getting any attention from her as this does sound like the way to do it at least for a couple of weeks or for however long is necessary. This rachel to me is really just a good friend. I think she maybe might like me more than just a friend but i believe that is because she i lonely. Her boyfriend is deployed to Iraq and has very limit means to communicate. I will be leaving nxt summer for 6 month so i understand his situation and WOULD NEVER even if i liked the girl, hit on her while her boyfriend is away as i wouldnt want the same thing happening to me.

THANK YOU both it helps alot to get some professional input rather than input from friends who have only had a handful of girlfriends and dates, etc.

Nick
Back to top Go down
View user profile
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 44
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: Re: What should I do?   Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:41 pm

Nah, being independent has NOTHING to do with a girl shutting a close one out. In fact, the girls that are more independent and that accept themselves/are ok with who they are, usually don't shut their close ones out.

Usually, when a girl shuts someone close out, it's because she's scared. Scared to let that person see a vulnerable side to them.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: What should I do?   

Back to top Go down
 
What should I do?
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: The PUA Beat-
Jump to: