HomeVault AccessGalleryFAQRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 When she asks you to come over for a 5 gallon bucket . . .

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
L.A. Tripp
Admin
Admin
avatar

Male Number of posts : 4766
Age : 44
Location : Evansville, IN
Reputation : 19
Registration date : 2008-03-14

PostSubject: When she asks you to come over for a 5 gallon bucket . . .   Sat Oct 17, 2009 4:16 am

You're away, taking care of something else. You're busy. She calls or texts and asks if you can help her with this 5 gallon bucket. If you can help her to water her flowers. If you can help her to do something at her home.

Your first thought is likely to be she's looking at you as a dancing monkey. Step back. She may be telling you she wants to spend time with you.

_________________
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504813617

http://latripp.blogspot.com/

www.latripp.weebly.com

Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://latripp.weebly.com  http://puas.open-board.com/the-pua-be
Ka
Tripp's Vault Member
Tripp's Vault Member
avatar

Male Number of posts : 788
Age : 33
Location : Philly
Reputation : 2
Registration date : 2008-03-17

PostSubject: Re: When she asks you to come over for a 5 gallon bucket . . .   Sat Oct 17, 2009 11:09 am

I like this subject, alot of people have trouble telling the difference between being used, and someone making excuses to spend time with them.

There are some key words and phrases that help tell those people and situations apart, and it all revolves around the mindset of the person asking.

For instance, someone thats trying to use you will say, "Can you DO this for me."

Whereas someone that truely needs help or is using it as an excuse to spend time with you will ask "Can you HELP me with this."

The wording here is crucial as the mentality of someone using you and the mentality of someone who genuinely needs help or whats to spend time with you has a very different mentality. The person using you is thinking purely of things in terms of self, whereas someone needing help or wanting to be around you is thinking in terms of you, then them.

It boils down to most people who are using you are trying to shrug off a responsability or action they are capable of, whereas if they needed your assistance or wanted you around they would be trying to include you in their actions.

Take Tripps example:

"and asks if you can help her with this 5 gallon bucket. If you can help her to water her flowers. If you can help her to do something at her home."

See the recurring pattern, he wrote it that way to convey that they where not using you, but where genuine. Had they been trying to use you, it woulda read as:

"and asks if you can lift this 5 gallon bucket for her. If you can come by to water her flowers. If you can do something for her at her home."

Notice that these sentences now preclude her from doing anything. When the wording changes like that it completely changes the tone of the questions.

This isnt a perfect science, and people who generally expect your company may ask in the more selfish way those questions to try and get you to spend time with them, for instance a family member like a grandparent or parent may say something like "Can you come over and change this light for me" when the light isnt the issue, they just want to see you.

Its in those situations that you have to consider circumstance to know if your really being used or not...but in general the above applies to 90+% of people in how they word things.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
 
When she asks you to come over for a 5 gallon bucket . . .
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Sony Vegas 9.0 Free :P
» Paul Gale asks followers whether he should reveal the remaining characters or not! (Update)
» looking to start. advice
» Rumor-Adeptus Mechanicum in Commoragh
» Photobucket Problems

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: The PUA Beat-
Jump to: