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 Am I reading this right?

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Sydrian
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PostSubject: Am I reading this right?   Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:45 pm

Had this conversation last night with a girl I know... (FYI: I was pretty wasted by this point)

Her: Buy me a drink!
Me: It's my birthday, Im not supposed to be buying people drinks.
Her: Come on..
Me: This is all I got left for the night.
Her: Ok.
Me: I saw XXXXXX inside.
Her: Oh we're not together anymore.
Me: Really?
Her: Yea, he cheated on me. You know, I'd like to think I'm good looking enough he wouldn't need to.
Me: I wouldn't cheat on ya. (yea, I know this is AFC, blame the alcohol.)
Her: Well, I'm a bitch.
Me: Still...
Her: Oh, I'm just joking.

Anyway, I go ahead and return to my friends at this point. Im celebrating my birthday, just looking to have a good time with them. It may of just been the alcohol talking, but I kinda got the idea she was looking for options.
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Cro
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PostSubject: Re: Am I reading this right?   Sun Oct 18, 2009 11:37 pm

Sounds to me like she needed validation, options or not, that I can't derive from such a short conversation. with this : "You know, I'd like to think I'm good looking enough he wouldn't need to." she was asking for validation from you, which you gave her.

Correct response would have been "true, you're not so bad" and shrug. Don't give too much, but don't hold back completely.

The whole "this is all I got left for the night" was a slight dlv on your part, what instead is a repeatedly used response is "you buy this round, and I'll get the next"

if she agrees, you know she wants to share a drink with you, if she declines, she just wanted a drink from you
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Sydrian
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PostSubject: Re: Am I reading this right?   Sun Oct 18, 2009 11:49 pm

Lol, yea, I know I could of handled things better, but I wasn't really looking to game last night anyhow. I was 6 drinks deep, buying my 7th, and it was 1am at that point. I was out having a good time. Women really weren't on my mind. I'd like to think if I was sober I'd of handled things somewhat differently. Fortunately, I rarely drink. Just on special occasions. When I woke up this morning, I was just trying to get a better read on that interaction. Just trying to learn some more.
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Cro
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PostSubject: Re: Am I reading this right?   Sun Oct 18, 2009 11:52 pm

That's what this forum is all about, if you need analyzing of former experiences, please share them so we can all give our 2 cents. I also want to encourage everyone reading to post more FRs, if you use that tool correctly, and put in the necessary data to help us see what you did right/wrong, we can all help analyze that and talk about it.

God knows I deserved the ass kicking I got from my fellow puas after my last FR, it's the only way we can learn
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Ka
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PostSubject: Re: Am I reading this right?   Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:13 pm

Think Cro hit the nail on the head.

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Sydrian
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PostSubject: Re: Am I reading this right?   Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:21 pm

Thanks for the words guys. Reading women is my second biggest issue, after AA. I'll be the first to admit, I'm clueless. There is social circle game posibilities in this situation as well, if I want to peruse it.
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L.A. Tripp
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PostSubject: Re: Am I reading this right?   Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:25 pm

I believe she's looking for validation AND options. Whether that option ends up being you or not remains to be seen. You certainly didn't open that door with this convo, but I think it's both. You did give her the validation she was seeking in that moment though.

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Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"

You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.

Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!
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Sydrian
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PostSubject: Re: Am I reading this right?   Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:57 pm

I've thought once or twice there is some tension there, but I could alienate very good friends if I tried to peruse at the wrong moment. Of course that close family also means I have inroads when the moment is right. They've tried to hook me up more than once.
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