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 Stuck in neutral.

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Sydrian
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PostSubject: Stuck in neutral.   Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:20 pm

I feel stuck in neutral at the moment. I know what I have to do, I've gotten rid of the negative internal dialog. I've stopped making excuses to avoid it, but I'm not trying to talk myself into it either. I just sit there, like a bump on a log telling myself I should. Should, should, should. I'm getting really tired of hearing should in my head. Then I go home frustrated, and a bit angry.

On a unrelated note... I think I'm going to look into direct approach. I'm a fairly honest/straight forward person, and tend to cut to the point rather quickly. As far as the opening goes, direct approach is seems the most congruent with who I am.
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Ka
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PostSubject: Re: Stuck in neutral.   Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:45 pm

Good, your already ahead of the game because you have a clear idea of who you are.

Now what you have to figure out is 1 of 2 things:

-What motivates you to take action?

-Why arent you taking action?

Answer at least one of these questions and youll know if moving ahead is possible.

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Sydrian
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PostSubject: Re: Stuck in neutral.   Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:21 pm

What motivates me?

Curiosity possibly motivates me more than anything. I like to learn, and figure things out. Not something I've really applied to meeting people, but not a terribly difficult change in perspective. Of course, the problem with this motivation, is it's easily distracted by the next curiosity that grabs my attention. I most likely have some form of ADD, despite the fact I have very good short term focus, I have a hard time keeping it over the span of days/weeks if I don't have like minded people around me.

Why am I not taking action?

Tougher question. One I'm not sure I have an honest answer for. I've known to tell my friends on occasion, I'm not really shy. I just have the habits of the shy person I used to be. At least part of it is habitual. I don't get up and say hello because in the past I didn't get up and say hello. Somewhere is a more profound answer than that. I'm just not completely sure I know what it is.
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Ka
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PostSubject: Re: Stuck in neutral.   Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:10 am

Curiosity, or to be more exact the thirst for knowledge/learning drives me to do many things as well. Often times my mindset when talking to someone, oepning etc is...im gonna learn something from this, im going to figure out the social model and be able to apply what i learn this time to the time after.

In other words i start to look at each interaction as a learning experience.

As for the second question, your right its harder to find a "good" answer for it, but the truth 90% of the time is we are content with where we are. If your content with your social life, your sex life, your relationships, etc...then do nothing is an obvious choice.

The correlation between my 2 questions is that you use what motivates you to make "good enough"...well not good enough...thats simply what motivation is, raising your standards to the point you need to take action. Otherwise its human nature to do nothing when we are satisfied.

If you make enough money for your lifestyle you dont actively pursue better jobs, if youve eaten enough you dont actively search for more food, if youve slept enough you dont lay down and goto bed...and if your content with your social life you dont take action to change it.

Hope this helps.

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