The 4 Reasons Why Women Reject Men
Most men have never learned to develop their
"inner self confidence"... and become the kind of
guy that is literally BULLET-PROOF.
Most men HATE the idea of "rejection".
I'm not talking about "don't like the idea" or
"wish it didn't happen"... I'm talking HATE here.
The idea of walking up to a woman and having
her REJECT you causes most men to instantly feel
sick in the pit of their stomachs and literally
feel a horrible combination of nervousness and
A guy can psych himself up for an hour to go
talk to a woman, but when the moment comes to
actually DO IT, EVERYTHING changes.
The heart rate shoots up, breathing quickens,
eyes dart back and forth, thoughts of rejection
fill the mind, and eventually the pressure becomes
too much to bare.
Most men find this state so scary that they end
up deciding to forget about approaching the
women... just to end the discomfort.
The temptation is great to just "walk away"
because just as quickly as the intense nervousness
is triggered by the moment one decides to ACT, it
goes away when you decide to "forget about it and
The fact that "choosing to walk away" leads to
the "instant gratification" of the nervous feeling
going away makes it the most popular option.
Most of the time (and I'm talking about
probably 99% of the time here) men just walk away.
They give up before they've even started.
I find this topic fascinating.
If I just think about it, I can remember MANY
times in my past where I wanted to talk to a
woman, but I just didn't do it.
In fact, many of them are so vivid that I can
remember the exact setting, what the girl looked
like, who else was there, etc... and I'm talking
about situations that happened YEARS ago.
These moments obviously made an impression.
I can also remember kicking myself for DAYS
afterwards for not approaching and talking to
Can you relate?
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTUAL REJECTION AND THE
FEAR OF REJECTION...
I think it's important to realize that there's
a BIG difference between ACTUAL rejection (having
a girl who is offended, upset, rude, etc. to you
when you start talking to her) and the FEAR of
rejection (how you feel when you imagine a woman
I've found that for me PERSONALLY, my FEAR of
rejection is actually FAR, FAR more painful and
difficult to deal with than ACTUAL rejection in
the real world.
The main reason for this is that most of the
time when a man starts talking to a woman, she is
actually rather nice about the whole affair.
Men aren't "rejected" very often!
If a woman isn't interested, she usually just
says "I have a boyfriend" or "No thank you"... or
she'll just walk away without saying anything at
Out of the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds
of times that I've approached women, I can't
remember any time that a woman has yelled "Get
away from me you loser! You are unattractive and
the very thought of going on a date with you makes
me sick to my stomach!"
I'm sure it's happened to SOMEONE, but it's
never happened to ME.
The worst I've had is a woman making fun of the
words I used (telling me that my pickup line was
lame) or just walking away.
No slaps, no boyfriends beating me up, and no
But here's the kicker...
You can experience an intense FEAR of rejection
EVERY time you consider approaching a woman.
Imagine, something you can predict with almost
You can be in any situation, anywhere, anytime,
and still have FEAR of rejection... which will
prevent you from approaching a woman.
Ah, the power of the human mind.
HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION...
A lot of guys ask me, "How do I deal with
The answer: Don't worry about it.
If you get "rejected", you'll be fine.
It's no big deal, and it doesn't happen that
And when it does, you'll recover shortly
You'll find yourself telling your friends about
it, and laughing together. Rejection from a woman
is about as painful as getting a "D" on a test.
It's basically insignificant.
The REAL question is "How do I deal with my
FEAR of rejection?".
If you can overcome your imaginary FEAR of
rejection, you'll be on your way. (Some guys have
a type of fear that they might call "terror" when
thinking of approaching women.)
WHY WOMEN REJECT MEN...
Now let's talk about those rare instances where
a woman actually REJECTS a man.
For the sake of this discussion, I want to
define "rejection" as a woman doing something that
lets you know that she's upset and offended that
you started talking to her, and she responds in a
mean or vicious way to make you go away.
I do NOT consider a woman walking away without
stopping to talk to you, her saying "No thank
you", or any other time when a woman just simply
doesn't engage to be "rejection".
If you DO consider these things to be
rejection, please stop reading now, call your mom
into your room, and tell her that it's time you
grew up and moved out... and that she'll get over
the fact that she can't choose your clothes for
you and hug you when you have a boo-boo anymore.
I've found that there are a few main reasons
why women actually DO reject men (by the way, it's
VERY rare that I actually get "rejected"
anymore... it's probably happened to me once in
the last 100 times I've started a conversation
with a woman... because I don't do dumb-ass things
Here are the main ones:
1. The guy isn't paying attention, and he does
something stupid to begin with.
Some guys think it's appropriate to walk up to
a woman, put their arm around her, and say, "Hey
baby, you sure do look hot tonight".
Some guys don't see anything wrong with
following a woman around all night, staring at her
constantly, then walking over with a nervous,
sweaty-palmed, stalkerish look and saying, "You
remind me of my sister".
These are bad ideas.
2. The guy doesn't stop when he should.
If two women are sitting alone at a table in
the corner, and one of them is obviously upset,
and you walk over to them and say, "Hi, can I buy
you a drink?"... and the upset one looks at you
and says, "No thanks, we're in the middle of a
conversation" (then looks away from you back at
her friend)... and you say, "Aw, cummon, have a
drink. You need to lighten up and have some
fun"... and she looks back at you and says firmly,
"We're busy"... and you say, "What, are you in a
bad mood or something? I'm just trying to buy you
a drink"... and she says, "We don't want a
drink"... and you say, "Well maybe your friend
does"... and the friend says, "No, I don't want
OK, hopefully you get it.
If you ever do something like this, you are a
dumb ass, and you deserve to be slapped and have
47 drinks thrown in your lap.
3. Making a woman nervous with your body
If you start talking to a woman, but your
posture is weak and slumped, your eyes are darting
around but not meeting hers, and you're wearing an
unbuttoned flannel shirt with one of the tails
tucked in, you're probably not going to get a
If you creep a woman out, things aren't going
to work for you.
4. Not understanding a woman's body language and
When you start talking to a woman, she will let
you know within a very short time if she's
receptive to talking to you.
If you've been reading too many books that say
"A woman will signal her availability and interest
by flipping her hair, licking her lips, and
cocking her head coyly at you", then get over it.
This stuff happens to Brat Pitt, not to YOU.
And if it DOES happen to you, then skip this
When you first start talking to a woman she's
either going to keep talking to you in an open,
comfortable way or she's not.
She's either going to act like things are cool
or she's going to act like they're not.
This is an amazing thought, but women get
nervous too. They will often stop talking just
because they can't think of anything to say, etc.
But you need to pay attention.
Experience is the best teacher here.
My simple point is that MOST GUYS CAUSE
REJECTION by what they're doing. They aren't
paying attention, or they're doing things that are
If you just avoid a few major mistakes, learn
how to start conversations with women, and do a
few simple things RIGHT, you'll all but totally
avoid "rejection" from the women you approach.
HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR OF REJECTION
The REAL obstacle here is the FEAR.
As I mentioned, FEAR of rejection, or IMAGINING
rejection when you should be imagining success,
leads to walking away.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Ironically, I've found that the best way to
overcome my own fear of rejection was to see that
it wasn't going to actually happen.
The more times I approached women and started
conversations and the more I saw that women
usually responded positively, the less I imagined
things going wrong.
This led to a positive feedback loop of me
wanting to approach more women and have more
Here are a few ideas for overcoming your own
FEAR of rejection:
1) Go out to a bar, and watch men approaching
Take a Saturday night, and just go out alone.
Find a seat at the bar where things are busy, and
Make sure you visit a place that is REALLY
busy, so you can see a lot of people interacting.
Now, pay attention.
You'll begin to pick out the guys who are
approaching a lot of women, asking them to dance,
buying them drinks, etc. Watch what happens.
You'll be able to see for yourself that most of
the time, even if the woman isn't interested,
nothing bad happens.
You'll also see that when a guy tries to grab a
woman who's walking by, makes a crude sexual
comment, or just keeps talking when a woman isn't
interested, that the woman's feelings might
escalate and she'll respond negatively.
You can watch what works and what doesn't right
in front of your own eyes.
This will start to reprogram your mind that
women don't usually "reject" men, even in the most
intense situations where they're being approached
2) Start small.
If you have to, start by talking to women who
are PAID to talk to you.
Go to a mall (one of my favorites).
Stores in malls hire attractive young women.
Walk into every store, and start conversations.
Practice making eye contact.
Come up with a few jokes that you can use in
any situation ("So, do you own this store?
Perfect, then you won't care if I just take some
Ask the salesgirls to smell your new cologne
(the one you sprayed on your wrist next door) and
give you her opinion.
The more you do this, the more you'll get used
to starting conversations with women you don't
know, and having comfortable conversations.
3) Choose one default thing for each situation.
It amazes me that guys don't think ahead.
They don't plan what they're going to do.
As the old saying goes "By failing to plan, you
plan to fail".
You really need to figure out a DEFAULT thing
you can do to start a conversation with any woman,
Once you come up with your idea, mentally
rehearse it until you could do it in any
Then get out and do it.
HOW TO AVOID REJECTION AND INCREASE SUCCESS
Human beings tend to want to "save face" when
it comes to relationships.
We don't like the idea that another person has
outright "rejected" us, and we ALSO tend to not
want to "hurt other people's feelings" by
This is one of the reasons why women will often
lie and say "I have a boyfriend" when they don't.
You must become aware of these "subconscious"
processes and motivations, work with them, and
eventually become the master of them.
Learn to recognize when a woman is "politely
saying no thanks", and move on.
If a woman isn't interested in you, forget
about it. It doesn't matter.
Go to the next one. There are plenty.
http://tripp-author.weebly.com for my new book!
Alpha: "Come here, now."
AFC: "Would you mind coming here please, if it's not too much trouble?"
You have one shot, and it's in the first 3 seconds.
Make her qualify herself to YOU.
Don't back down from the girl. CHALLENGE her!