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 The Stop Being Single Challenge – Part Three

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Registration date : 2009-11-14

PostSubject: The Stop Being Single Challenge – Part Three   Sun May 30, 2010 11:43 pm

In the last installment, we looked at how to start a conversation with a women in any situation. This first step in regaining control of your dating life saw you gathering your cojones and taking your rightful role as the sexual selector – way to go!



I also set some homework: to choose a point in your schedule and, during it, strike up one new conversation a day. If you’re sticking to that I bet you’re already seeing some interesting results. You next question is likely to be: ‘what do I say after the opening line?’ Fear not, we’ll cover that in the next installment.



First I want to touch on a mistake I see time and again in the clients who come to our Love Systems trainings. At the beginning of a programme, I’ll ask what the attendees want to get out of the weekend. Some are virgins and want the confidence to meet their first girlfriend, others are recently divorced and are looking to jumpstart their mojo, and others still are just interested in improving the quality of their dating lives.

From time to time, I’ll hear the following phrase:



‘Well there’s this girl…’



At this point, said person will launch into a tale of unrequited love that leaves me banging my head against the table. They have a crush on a friend/colleague/stripper/ex-girlfriend and are fixated on her. It becomes obvious that they have romantic tunnel vision – they’re so totally focused on one woman that it seriously hurts their chances of getting any woman at all.

Why is this? The dating game is rarely about zoning in on one girl and trying to ‘get‘ her. It’s far more valuable to play the field – meet, flirt with and date a number of women at once. There are so many good reasons for this:



•Neediness is death. Tattoo that on the insides of your eyelids if you have to. A needy man is to a woman what Kryptonite is to Superman. Agonising over every text, blurting out sycophantic remarks, excessive emotional investment etcetera are the behaviours of a desperate and needy man – he literally needs this girl because he has no other options. There are an abundance of fish in the sea and the more real this truth is to us the more those needy behaviours will evaporate.



•If settling down is a goal for one day, having a wide sample of dating experiences will stand you in much better stead when it comes to choosing your future partner. Rather than snapping up whoever drifts by, you’ll know exactly what you like and be able to select it from a pool of interested parties.



•Women love men who are loved by other women. This one is fairly obvious, it’s simply a case of supply and demand: the more people want something, the more valuable it is perceived to be. If other women are interested in you, a woman will be far more attracted to you from the outset. It’s one of those pleasant unconscious effects that can make your life a lot easier.



If you’re reading this blog to get ‘that girl’, I hope this small sample of reasons convinces you that you stand a much better chance of getting her, and others, if you introduce some variety into your dating diet. If you’re suffering from romantic tunnel vision, do yourself a favour and get free of its clutches



One of the beautiful things about dating is that people can surprise you. Romantic chemistry can spark between the most unlikely of pairings so give love a chance and play the field.



See you next time!
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